Ryan

I was a former model so posing for photos wasn’t a new experience. Except it was a total 180 spending a few hours as a “Turning Heads Supermodel” since now I was bald and not by choice but from cancer and chemotherapy. In the middle of the second week of my treatment, I started losing my hair and it was very thick. I took very good care of my hair having highlights every six weeks. Clearly my hair was important to me. Once it started to fall out in clumps I made an appointment with my stylist and shaved it all off.

First, I thought its only hair and it will come back. But once it was gone, it scared me. In the beginning I was dealing with being bald by hiding under bandanas my sister bought me. Then I saw other men without cancer who were bald and thought if they can do it why can’t I.

My husband found out about Turning Heads when he saw a book at Gilda’s Club. We went through it. I was comfortable in front of a camera so decided to do it. I had no expectations for the photo shoot. When I looked at the photos of other Turning Heads “Supermodels”, I realized I’m not the only one in this world with this disease. There are people both older and younger in worse situations. The photos of the ladies and the expressions were wonderful. They looked like they were saying, “I don’t care, I just don’t have hair.”

During my photo session I didn’t think about having cancer at al. When I look at the photos, I think I look pretty darn good without hair and am thinking about having them done as Christmas pictures.

Turning Heads is an experience you can only fully appreciate if you are going through this. Everyone there made me feel like I was not the only one dealing with both cancer and being bald.