I was a hair marketer’s dream girl. I fell for everything since I could do the infamous head toss. I had stick-straight brown hair – when it wasn’t popular; and it has always been a source of contention in my life. A good hair day made up for a lot of small insults, like the coffee was cold or I was stuck in traffic. A bad hair day, well, all I could say was “…at least it was attached…”
Over the years I have tried everything. I’ve had the Dorothy Hamill cut, the Joan Rivers look, the heavy-metal-tease-your-hair-with-a-fork, the Farrah Fawcett cut, the bowl cut, the straight-down-to-your-butt 60’s wild child look, even the Joan Jett mid-length layers. If there was a gadget to increase fullness, thickness, shine, shimmer, sex appeal, I owned it.
When I got diagnosed with stage four cancer in early February 2013 I entered a new world. I started chemotherapy right away with an aggressive cocktail of unpronounceable drugs and a laundry list of side effects. I cut my hair from shoulder length to short and then to Marine Boot Camp length. It started falling out pretty quick but in unpredictable crop circles on my head. I was devastated – from the symbolism aspect – what this really meant (wow! I have cancer and I am sick…) to how I view myself and interact with the world. I could no longer joke, “at least it’s attached…”
I threw myself into the world of scarves and scarf tying. I wouldn’t leave the house without a fabulous scarf draping me like a 50’s Hollywood movie star, sans the Cadillac. I wouldn’t go to the grocery store, go to dinner, and walk the dogs, anything without covering my nakedness. I felt vulnerable, awkward and uncomfortable.
Through a series of kindness and acts of love from complete strangers, I was fortunate enough to do the photo shoot with Turning Heads Project. In one afternoon, the team at Turning Heads changed everything for me. They made me feel and see my own beauty. They pampered me, cajoled, laughed, and brought me and my family into their extended family. I finally got to “see” from an outside perspective that I was still feminine, attractive, and strong – even without hair.
Since that afternoon I have gone everywhere without a scarf, a hat, or a head covering. I am no longer ashamed, embarrassed, or awkward. I am proud of the fact that I am so loved by family, friends, strangers, and soon-to-be friends that they chose to help me in a time of true need. I feel happy about who I am.
A friend of mine said to me one day, “Cancer is a gift wrapped in barbed wire.” And it is true. I have so many blessings in my life, so much joy, and so much kindness freely given to me. The team at Turning Heads Project helped restore my sense of self and for that I am forever grateful. Thank you.
You look so fabulous! I have never had the great hair to begin with, so I never thought losing it would be much of a big deal. And, I haven’t shed too many tears over losing my hair, but like you I feel naked, alone, sick, awkward, if my head isn’t covered up. I even have problems inside my own house if one of my kids has a friend over. I am so proud of you and what this photo session has done to set you free. Keep up the good fight!
Check you out! You look totally amazing and just like YOU!!!!!!!
Look at this beauty! Her soul shines through in these photos. What a privilege to be with you that day Jodi. Your smile in these photos fills my heart with love and joy.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are amazing.