{"id":952,"date":"2013-08-12T15:25:55","date_gmt":"2013-08-12T15:25:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/turningheadsproject.org\/?p=952"},"modified":"2013-08-12T15:31:46","modified_gmt":"2013-08-12T15:31:46","slug":"esther","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/turning-heads.org\/esther\/","title":{"rendered":"Esther"},"content":{"rendered":"

Losing my hair, for me, well I think I was in denial. \u00a0I knew that some people lost their hair while on chemo and I knew it was something that would probably happen to me but when the time came it was not easy.\u00a0 On my first chemo my Dr told me \u201cyou know you are going lose your hair\u201d I said \u201cyes but maybe I\u2019ll be one of the lucky ones and not lose it\u201d. His response was \u201cWell you\u2019ll know in two weeks\u201d.<\/p>\n

I had a follow up apt in 2 weeks one week before my next chemo, the Dr. \u00a0Looked at me and said \u201cyou still have hair\u201d I smiled and said once again \u201cmaybe I\u2019m one of the lucky ones\u201d. He looked at me and said \u201cyou WILL lose it\u201d.\u00a0 Sure enough the next day I started to see more and more hair on my brush , a couple of days later my daughter turned to me and said mom I think it\u2019s time. \u00a0I knew what that meant; time to cut my hair, knowing that she was right I agreed.\u00a0 As she was getting the clippers ready, my granddaughter sat at the table not to miss anything that was happening as she had done since I was diagnosed. She wanted to know everything.\u00a0 We all tried to explain what was happening to grandma in a way a 3 year old could understand.\u00a0 My daughter started cutting my hair and I started to see the hair fall, I couldn\u2019t hold it back any more, my tears started to roll down my face. My granddaughter looked at me and said don\u2019t cry grandma I still love you and you look beautiful. That made me even cry harder, this 3 year old trying to console her grandma.<\/p>\n

Why was I crying , I didn\u2019t understand, was it that I felt like I was losing my identity, was it that now everyone would know that I had cancer and I couldn\u2019t hide it any more, did this make it more real, was this like having a big CANCER written over my now flat chest. I believe it was all those things but this little person was going to assure me that all would be ok and this was only temporary and this too would pass.<\/p>\n

After I was done with chemo and started feeling a little more normal, I started to toss lots a papers and flyers that I had accumulated over the last couple of months. When I came across the turning heads flyer, I tossed it in the trash as I said to myself why would I want a reminder of my ordeal, but the more I thought about it the more I told myself why not. So I took it out of the trash and called and made an apt.\u00a0 a couple of days before my apt again I thought what do I need this for and I was almost going to cancel, but for some reason I did not, the morning of the apt I was still not sure I wanted to go, and at that moment my daughter popped her head in my room and said mom are you\u2019re ready, so I went.<\/p>\n

When we pulled in to the parking lot of Turning Heads we were greeted by Debbie, and I thought oh well I have to go thru with this I can\u2019t turn back she already saw me.\u00a0 We were then greeted by Stacy and then Olga. They all seemed so cheerie and upbeat.\u00a0 I told them that I was very nervous and I was almost not going to show up, they said that I would have a great time and they all made me feel very welcome. From the start with my makeup to the end of the photo shoot the 3 made me feel so special, I even forgot that I had no hair.\u00a0 They made me feel like a super model with her (flow girls).\u00a0 I had a wonderful experience, and I know this will be a great memory not a sad one.\u00a0 I\u2019ve already gone thru the worse part now all I have to do is start living.<\/p>\n

Thank you ladies you don\u2019t know how special the day was for me and how much fun I had, it was WONDERFUL<\/p>\n

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